Sorry, I don't speak sober.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
