Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
