remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize