I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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