i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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