I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
