And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.