was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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