Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
