Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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