he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
