If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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