yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
