actually, I'm a sock model
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
