i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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