just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
