You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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