so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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