when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
