it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
