Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
