I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I understand Curling. That high.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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