I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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