My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
