Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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