Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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