ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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