We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
