Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
