I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
