I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't think brook has ever known best
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
