god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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