He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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