i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
