Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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