the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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