How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
