I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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