On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
