we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
