If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We have started to decorate penises.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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