I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize