He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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