38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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