first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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