Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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