she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
