yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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