Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
