that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
