he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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