She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
