WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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