I'm gonna have a badass scar
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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