Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
