There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
