i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Are we still banned from the library?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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