when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
