i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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