Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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