Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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