My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
