Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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