when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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