i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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