she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
