Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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