i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
