You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I smell stomach acid.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
