i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
