Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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